Fact: I stayed with Donald Fauxtedge in Seattle this past summer and kicked his ass at SNES NBA JAM. Don’t let him deny it.

The first morning that I was there I went into his cupboard to grab a bowl of cereal and I was smothered by am avalanche of Simpsons Toys in their original packaging. I didn’t even ask. There was no explanation needed.

Batman: The Beginning

In my tweens (circa 00′) there was a this gnarly local punk message board where weakling kids with big mouths would spout off clever insults and make half assed threats. Donald ran that shit like the Big Mexican dude runs prison yard. 17 year old dude, 130 lbs, silencing fools with Dial-up and all that. Later on I met him in real life and my fear of him completely disappeared, only to replaced with an overwhelming sense of confidence. We kicked it. We were both in bands; you know how that story goes. He had this grandiose vision of making a legitimate Nirvana Cover Band and some how felt I could pull of the role of Kurt even though I am Asian. I guess he saw the heart. We failed of course as all Nirvana Cover Bands do. But, our relationship flourished. And by flourished I mean it stayed exactly the same. Like the Holy Grail, our friendship goes untouched or corrupted by human hands. While everything else has changed the basis our of relations is a mint conditioned Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr Rookie Card. He is one of the most convicted and ass backward dudes I know, but he does it with style. He is a fine punk musician having played in a several great bands such as Quarterhead, Three is Company, Akamai Boyz, and most recently The Human Waist Band. He is a great writer, but you seriously have to break into his house, tie him up, and pistol whip him if you wanna read his work. I like to refer to him as the modern day Emily Dickinson. Not because of his writing, but because he is a women. He also takes great photos. Captures the moment. Why am I doing this interview? Cause I adamantly feel that a the untold Fauxtedge Story is one worth telling, and definitely one worth knowing. Fall in love again for the first time.

1. What is your role with Flying Coffin?
I am supposedly in charge of the content for the serial portion of the website but I’m extremely lazy and rarely update it with anything. I have also done several things that are pretty much in the “bitch work” category out of some sort of friendship type obligation.

2. What is fauxtedge and how did it come about?
Fauxtedge is just a blanket term I use for on-line shit. It started out of sheer boredom when I was crashing at Jason Gomez’ house about four years ago. It’s main focus is to be a photo blog that isn’t of people partying or clubbing or drinking because I hate that shit.

3. What interests you about photography?
Viewing it, and creating it. I like taking pictures of my friends jumping in the air. Philippe Halsman had some good ideas.

4. Is there such thing as good art, and bad art?
Good art is done for the doing. Bad art is done for just money or pussy. There are exceptions.

5. If you were a women, would you be more attractive to the opposite sex than you are now?
I can’t answer this question in it’s current phrasing. I will say naked dudes are extremely ugly.

6. If you could form an all-star band, who would the members be, and what would the name be?
Ian Svenonius on vocals, Brooks Headley on drums, Eric Wood on bass, Todd Rittman on guitar. They’d be called Future Mistakes.

7. Why do you enjoy more, listening to music, or playing it?
I enjoy listening to music more than playing it because I know I could go like a year without touching an instrument but I couldn’t go more than a day without listening to a record.

8. You have lots of books, records, tapes, and toys. Which are your favorite? Any sentimental value?
A real small handful of the favorite things on my shelves are U.S. Maples Long Hair In Three Stages LP, Rorschachs Protestant LP, Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, the 1929 Underwood typewriter my mom got me for Christmas 2001 and Heat 2 disc DVD and the Dark Tower series.

9. What’s the hardest part about becoming a man?
Paying rent.

10. Is time travel possible?
If time is not in fact a linear progression of moments than yes.

The End

Fauxtedge Interview coming soon.